The End of Things

So, Danny and Lu made up. I know I should be happy for them. I guess I kind of am, but I was really starting to like that girl, you know? This must be puberty--nothing makes sense any more. The world is just going all crazy. Danny and I kind of made up too, but I don't think we'll be able to be best friends any more. I mean, I kind of almost stole his nerdy girlfriend.

I guess I don't hate the idea of girls anymore because now I know Danny actually quit soccer because his aunt is so sick. He says he might start playing again when she gets better, some time in high school. He's not going to the same school as I am, but I hope he does anyway, so we can play against one another some time. I guess I really am starting fresh with high school--even my friends are being left behind. I guess I'll make plenty of new friends--people say I'm pretty social--but I guess as long as I have soccer I'll survive it all somehow.

Well, that's it, the last post. I really sucked at this project, but a lot happened this month. It was good to have some outlet to complain about it.

Honestly!

I swear that old bastard has it in for me. Yeah, Daddy Dearest...again. I kind of suck at foreign languages--I started taking Italian last year and just barely scraped by on a D+. Anyway, that ass calls today and tells me one of the assistant teachers' has a daughter my age who excels at that sort of stuff and she was coming over at three to tutor me! And who shows up at my door?! Lu! I was avoiding her, dammit! So this was incredibly awkward after the kissing thing.

Well, awkwardness aside, we did TRY to study like we were supposed to, then we stopped for a snack and I introduced her to Snow. It turns out she really loves animals and taught me this thing--for a toy, just roll up a ball of tin foil--she was totally right, Snow loved it. He couldn't play with it too much because his leg isn't totally healed yet, but he did swat it a little and roll around on the floor a bit.

I'm not sure what came over me, but I asked her to go see a movie with me Sunday Afternoon. ...she said yes. I guess, maybe it's okay to like girls--so long as they don't get in the way of the things you really love (like soccer!).

~Jess~

Oops...

Okay, so there's been kind of a major misunderstanding. It turns out that red-headed chick that Danny ran off with was his cousin, not another girl. His aunt is diabetic and when he ran off like that it was because she'd just collapsed and been brought to the hospital. Then I go open my big mouth and Lu thinks Danny is a cheating scumbag.

On the one hand, I know I should apologize for the misunderstanding. On the other, I don't really want them to make up. I mean, he's totally a better match for her than I'll ever be, but human beings are selfish, you know? Then again, I don't want to be Rebound Guy. I totally have to apologize. She'll never forgive me if she finds out we hooked up because of a misunderstanding and I never told her the truth--she's that 'honest' type of girl.

Guess I've got a phone call to make. Wish me luck.

~Jess~

Karma

I must have been a serial killer in a past life because my karma SUCKS. Seriously. It's HORRIBLE. Kevin, this guy from camp, saw when I kissed Lu the other day. He's buddies with Joe, so he told him, and Joe is dating Danny's sister, so now Danny knows and he spent all of yesterday night calling and hanging up. Juvenille bastard.

Then I started ignoring the phone, but dad got home and answered so that stupid fuck had to own up and copped out saying he was looking for me to borrow a dvd. My dumbass father invited him over for dinner! What the hell am I supposed to do now? Danny's way bigger than me and I think he's totally going to kick my ass--even though it's his own stupid fault for cheating in the first place...

Hand-Me-Down Girls?

So I...sort of kissed Lu yesterday. It just kind of...happened. I'm not sure how to explain. Tuesday she asked me if I would teach her a little about soccer, and since it's soccer, I totally agreed not realizing it was almost like a date--they guys said so, but I think they're full of it.

Anyway, yesterday we met up again because she said she wanted to practice dribbling more--and she's really awful by the way. Afterwards we were went for ice cream--she likes mint chocolate chip, just like me, and...i don't know what happened but we totally kissed. I'm kind of freaked. Should I call her? Or not call her? I mean, she was just dating Danny! Can nerds be sluts? Or is something there? But she's not even cute and I don't want to get involved with girls! Argh! I don't know what to do...

I Fail At Life.

Yeah, I'm like four days behind again and I only have an excuse for one of them. Dad's Day. Yeah, that day of the year when I have to pretend I love, respect, and generally think he's not an all around bad guy. And I guess he's not...for a parent--he got the usual gift--an ugly tie, a corny mug, and a self-defacing card about how much shit i'm always giving him.

After that I had to put on a monkey suit and go to one of those restaurants where every dish is 50 bucks and the plate is 90% garnishings. Then the freaking OPERA. I guess Dad always has had a thing for getting dumped by fat ladies, but I fell asleep before the intermission.

Since I'm so far behind I'll leave that post here and talk about the other days I didn't post in another post. Yeah, it's cheating. Bite me. I suck like that.

~Jess~

Library

I ended up at the library to return one summer reading book and put up another one. I avoid that place like the plague really--all that don't talk-don't laugh-don't even sneeze nonsense makes me feel kind of claustrophobic. And I don't know how to use the book catalog things right, so I end up wandering.

Lu was there--I guess doing one of those things dweebs do. She said being around all those books calms her, or something. When I told her it was the opposite for me, she kind of giggled a little and showed me where to find the book I was looking for. I really don't get nerds, but I'm starting to think maybe they're not all that different from normal people. Danny is a complete ass for cheating on her like this. I mean, just break up with her properly, you dumb fuck!

Keeping secrets can be pretty cruel to everyone, I think--the person doing the keeping and the person being kept, and everyone around them who has to support their decisions.

~Jess~