The End of Things

So, Danny and Lu made up. I know I should be happy for them. I guess I kind of am, but I was really starting to like that girl, you know? This must be puberty--nothing makes sense any more. The world is just going all crazy. Danny and I kind of made up too, but I don't think we'll be able to be best friends any more. I mean, I kind of almost stole his nerdy girlfriend.

I guess I don't hate the idea of girls anymore because now I know Danny actually quit soccer because his aunt is so sick. He says he might start playing again when she gets better, some time in high school. He's not going to the same school as I am, but I hope he does anyway, so we can play against one another some time. I guess I really am starting fresh with high school--even my friends are being left behind. I guess I'll make plenty of new friends--people say I'm pretty social--but I guess as long as I have soccer I'll survive it all somehow.

Well, that's it, the last post. I really sucked at this project, but a lot happened this month. It was good to have some outlet to complain about it.

Honestly!

I swear that old bastard has it in for me. Yeah, Daddy Dearest...again. I kind of suck at foreign languages--I started taking Italian last year and just barely scraped by on a D+. Anyway, that ass calls today and tells me one of the assistant teachers' has a daughter my age who excels at that sort of stuff and she was coming over at three to tutor me! And who shows up at my door?! Lu! I was avoiding her, dammit! So this was incredibly awkward after the kissing thing.

Well, awkwardness aside, we did TRY to study like we were supposed to, then we stopped for a snack and I introduced her to Snow. It turns out she really loves animals and taught me this thing--for a toy, just roll up a ball of tin foil--she was totally right, Snow loved it. He couldn't play with it too much because his leg isn't totally healed yet, but he did swat it a little and roll around on the floor a bit.

I'm not sure what came over me, but I asked her to go see a movie with me Sunday Afternoon. ...she said yes. I guess, maybe it's okay to like girls--so long as they don't get in the way of the things you really love (like soccer!).

~Jess~

Oops...

Okay, so there's been kind of a major misunderstanding. It turns out that red-headed chick that Danny ran off with was his cousin, not another girl. His aunt is diabetic and when he ran off like that it was because she'd just collapsed and been brought to the hospital. Then I go open my big mouth and Lu thinks Danny is a cheating scumbag.

On the one hand, I know I should apologize for the misunderstanding. On the other, I don't really want them to make up. I mean, he's totally a better match for her than I'll ever be, but human beings are selfish, you know? Then again, I don't want to be Rebound Guy. I totally have to apologize. She'll never forgive me if she finds out we hooked up because of a misunderstanding and I never told her the truth--she's that 'honest' type of girl.

Guess I've got a phone call to make. Wish me luck.

~Jess~

Karma

I must have been a serial killer in a past life because my karma SUCKS. Seriously. It's HORRIBLE. Kevin, this guy from camp, saw when I kissed Lu the other day. He's buddies with Joe, so he told him, and Joe is dating Danny's sister, so now Danny knows and he spent all of yesterday night calling and hanging up. Juvenille bastard.

Then I started ignoring the phone, but dad got home and answered so that stupid fuck had to own up and copped out saying he was looking for me to borrow a dvd. My dumbass father invited him over for dinner! What the hell am I supposed to do now? Danny's way bigger than me and I think he's totally going to kick my ass--even though it's his own stupid fault for cheating in the first place...

Hand-Me-Down Girls?

So I...sort of kissed Lu yesterday. It just kind of...happened. I'm not sure how to explain. Tuesday she asked me if I would teach her a little about soccer, and since it's soccer, I totally agreed not realizing it was almost like a date--they guys said so, but I think they're full of it.

Anyway, yesterday we met up again because she said she wanted to practice dribbling more--and she's really awful by the way. Afterwards we were went for ice cream--she likes mint chocolate chip, just like me, and...i don't know what happened but we totally kissed. I'm kind of freaked. Should I call her? Or not call her? I mean, she was just dating Danny! Can nerds be sluts? Or is something there? But she's not even cute and I don't want to get involved with girls! Argh! I don't know what to do...

I Fail At Life.

Yeah, I'm like four days behind again and I only have an excuse for one of them. Dad's Day. Yeah, that day of the year when I have to pretend I love, respect, and generally think he's not an all around bad guy. And I guess he's not...for a parent--he got the usual gift--an ugly tie, a corny mug, and a self-defacing card about how much shit i'm always giving him.

After that I had to put on a monkey suit and go to one of those restaurants where every dish is 50 bucks and the plate is 90% garnishings. Then the freaking OPERA. I guess Dad always has had a thing for getting dumped by fat ladies, but I fell asleep before the intermission.

Since I'm so far behind I'll leave that post here and talk about the other days I didn't post in another post. Yeah, it's cheating. Bite me. I suck like that.

~Jess~

Library

I ended up at the library to return one summer reading book and put up another one. I avoid that place like the plague really--all that don't talk-don't laugh-don't even sneeze nonsense makes me feel kind of claustrophobic. And I don't know how to use the book catalog things right, so I end up wandering.

Lu was there--I guess doing one of those things dweebs do. She said being around all those books calms her, or something. When I told her it was the opposite for me, she kind of giggled a little and showed me where to find the book I was looking for. I really don't get nerds, but I'm starting to think maybe they're not all that different from normal people. Danny is a complete ass for cheating on her like this. I mean, just break up with her properly, you dumb fuck!

Keeping secrets can be pretty cruel to everyone, I think--the person doing the keeping and the person being kept, and everyone around them who has to support their decisions.

~Jess~

Kooties.

I'm starting to really miss the days when girls had cooties. Danny and I ran into each other at the park and we had a decent, civil conversation, and then he joined me to practice some penalty kicks...but then this girl showed up--yeah, a totally different one this time (much cuter), and he ran off. Whore.

I went to Groty's to get a bite to eat and ran into the super-nerd, who asked me if I'd seen Danny lately--and I wasn't going to lie for the sleeze, so I told her he just ran off with some redheaded chick. She started crying. Now, I'm not completely heartless, I don't intentionally go around making girls cry, but then her nerdy friends came out of the bathroom and started hollering at me! Lu--ah, her name is Lucille, apparently--she actually defended me and thanked me for being honest with her. I guess she's not so bad after all, for a total dweeb.

More later (gotta catch up again!),

~Jess~

Behind, Again.

Dad thinks I'm allergic to the kitten, but I don't care. I'm not getting rid of him no matter what! I'll suffer if I have to and take ten different kinds of sinus medication for the rest of my life. I guess I'm just that kind of person--when I find something I like I don't let go no matter what.

I like Soccer, and I like my poor little kitten. I think he likes me too. When I was petting him yesterday he started rubbing his head against my stomach. He's looking a lot healthier now too.

I guess I really do suck at this blogging thing though. The allergies were so bad, I fell way behind again. I'm gonna go out and kick the ball around a little, then come and post again.

~Jess~

Who Needs 'Em?!

Allergies!

Yeah, okay, I'm a day behind again, but I'm a shell of my former self. The pollen count has kicked my ass. I slept all day yesterday and just managed to crawl out of bed for orange juice and a bowl of lucky charms about ten minutes ago. Nothing I take helps. I'm a total mess.

I had to blow off camp today, but everyone there can kiss my ass anyway.

Blah. I feel like crap. I'm going to pet my kitten and lay down again. I'll try to catch up later if I feel better.

~Jess~

Girls over Soccer

Got blown off over a girl again. Damien was supposed to come by with some training videos for me and we were going to watch them in the living room and then go do some night practice. But I just got a call and Damien changed our plans to Sunday because he has a date. I swear, I'm losing all my friends to lipstick and short skirts!

If I ever fall in love, it's going to be with a girl who actually likes soccer--plays it, even. That way at least I'll still have a life. Girls, bah! Soccer is way more important than some stupid girl!

(caught up again. We'll see how long it lasts.)

~Jess~

No Camp

Soccer Camp was cancelled today because of the heat, so me and the guys went to the arcade instead. It's been a while since we've done that sort of thing, but it was kind of lame. Joe's become kind of girl crazy, and he and Nate spent almost the entire time across the street trying to pick up girls. After that thing with -you know who- I just don't want to be bothered about girls at all right now, so I ended up playing games by myself for a while before coming home.

More summer reading. Joy. This summer is really starting to suck.

~Jess~

Okay, so I suck. I'm unreliable and immature. I caught up on this blog only to immediately fall two days behind. But you know what? I'm FOURTEEN, what the hell do you expect? Adults always say 'I was a kid once' but I think they forget what it's really like by the time they have them. How am I supposed to live up to someone's lofty expectations when I don't even have the attention span to write a paragraph every day, huh?

The old man is up to his old nonsense. He actually gave me extra summer reading. EXTRA! Like two books isn't enough to deal with and still have a life my last summer before high school! Agh! So frustrated. He says I'll never get into the Ivy League if I don't get a jump start now. How old do I have to be, exactly, before I can make a decision of my own?

~Jess~

Responsibility

He wasn't mad. Kind of weird, but no complaints here. He said that as long as I take care of the kitten I can keep it, so now I have a kitty allowance on top of my regular allowance for food and things that I'll need week to week. Anything extra I have to put aside for when stuff wears out, like scratching posts and things, or as emergency vet money.

He said it might 'teach you some responsibility'. Give me a break, old man, I'm fourteen! I'm not supposed to be responsible until at least another ten years. Weirdo.

Anyway, we managed to get a vet appointment and now his leg is set and bandaged better. He's on some medicine for a cold too. Poor thing. He's sleeping in my lap right now. The vet said his mother probably abandoned him because she couldn't give him the care he needed. I guess we have a few things in common. I named him Spike because i think it's funny when an animal has a name that's completely contrary to their nature and because I suck at naming things.

Oh. He just woke up. He hasn't eaten yet today, so I'm going to try to feed him.

~Jess~

(Check it out, I'm caught up!)

SO Not Friends

That jerk Danny actually thinks we're still friends! He must be DELUSIONAL. He called today and actually invited me to double with him, his girlfriend, and his girlfriend's cousin, to a play. Not even a movie, a play. He said this Karen chick is cute, but I've seen his taste in girls--no way in hell. I told him and his loser girlfriend to bite my hairy ass. That little bitch actually had the nerve to call me selfish and snobbish! Danny threw that in my face when I blew him off too. I swear, if she had balls I'd hit her so hard her big, stupid mouth would come out the back of her head! Who the hell is she to say what I am and am not! Sure, okay, I'm a little spoiled probably, but I'm an only child, you know. All onlys are, but spoiled is not the same as selfish and snobbish! She's the selfish one for stealing my best friend! Bitch.

Man, it's way too early in the morning too. I've been dog-sitting for my Aunt while she's off on yet another one of those Carribean Cruises and she's some kind of masochist because she feeds that damn puppy at six in the damn morning, even on weekends. So I've been up since 5:30. Feed the dog. Take it for a walk. Give it a treat, go home and then come back and do it later. The pay is kind of crappy, but I'm still grounded so it's a good excuse to get out of the house.

I stopped at the convenience store for a slurpie and a donut and took my time walking home. On the way I found this kitten with a broken leg. Dad's going to be pissed when he finds out, but I felt so bad for him that I brought him home, cleaned him up and gave him some food. I made a little bed for him out of some old towels in the bottom drawer of my desk. If I promise something outrageous, I'm sure I can get the old man to take him to the vet. He's got a weakness for animals! I always catch him glancing in the window when we walk by a pet store!

He's still gonna be pissed though. Wish me luck!

~Jess~

Farenheit 451

Dad came home from drinking with his coworkers early tonight, so I started doing some of my summer reading so he won't get on my ass about doing things at the last possible moment again like he always does. My dad, the dean--loser. Problem is he's always going to know when I'm not doing my homework so I guess I'm stuck on that much at least.





Anyway, Farenheit 451 is this book about burning books--well, I'm all for it if it means I don't have to read any more of this one. Well, maybe it would be better if I wasn't forced to read it. I hate assigned reading so much it makes me sick. I wonder if there's a movie. At least then I would only be suffering for a little while.





(Check it out! Two posts in one day. I'm catching up!)





~Jess~

Still Behind

So, yeah, I know, I'm still two days behind even though I said I'd post twice yesterday. But the old man came home early with fettucini and clam sauce from La Cocina del Mar, so even if he was a day late, I guess he won a few points for remembering my favorite restaurant, at least.

After we ate he took me out to Sports Authority and bought me some new shorts and stuff. Nothing too exciting, really, but it's not like I need all that much right now--should have put off those cleats a little longer.

Right when things seemed to be going well that damn geezer just had to ask why Danny hasn't been by lately. Because of that ugly whore, obviously. Who needs friends when you can have pimple-sized breasts and duck feet, right? Whatever. Before I could censor myself I said "because he's an asshole."

So, yeah, my big mouth got me grounded. I should be able to catch up on this blog now, at least, I guess. For now I'm gonna go play some Madden though.

~Jess~

Worst Ever.

Worst. Birthday. Ever. And yes, I know I missed another day in this totally pointless blogging for twenty days thing, but bite me. I mean, my life totally sucks, right now. Not only did we lose the game, but I was totally showed up by Joe Nobody from the opposing team! I mean, what the hell? He doesn't even go to the camp, but just because one of their lame-ass midfielders got mono from being a whore, or something, they pull in this trailer trash loser to give me hell! I wanted to knock his teeth in. Seriously.

So I get home and not only has the old man forgotten what day I was born on again this year, but he ate my mac n' cheese! I wrote my name on it dammit! In PERMANENT MARKER. Bastard.

I'll post again later to make up for the missed day, I guess.

~Jess~

Nerds

Danny is such a loser. I mean seriously, his picture is probably in the dictionary. Loser, capital L--like he watched Revenge of the Nerds once and decided to run with it for the rest of his natural life. Thing is, Danny used to be a pretty cool guy--he's our former center back; Former, capital F, for seriously Fucked Up.

Okay, I'll admit that I'm a little pissed. Sure, it's just a half-assed camp team so we 'kids' have something to keep us out of trouble over the summer, but he's been ditching practice for the past two weeks. Every excuse he gave was totally lame and obvious, but today he showed up just long enough to officially quit the team? And why? Over some four-eyed girl with a pimple on her jutting chin. I mean, give me a break, she was wearing grandma shoes and she's not even cute. I guess there's no accounting for taste and Danny's apparently sucks.

He was wearing this 'teens for a green earth' t-shirt. Totally lame. I'm ashamed to admit I used to think that guy was cool. Quitting soccer over some girl. Lame Lame Lame! Agh! I'm so totally frustrated right now you have no idea. We only have two subs and they both suck SO BAD. Now I'm going to have to babysit defense for the rest of the summer unless someone amazing somehow drops out of the sky into our laps. I've seen the rest of the camp--not to be a pessimist but, yeah right. There's just no way that's going to happen.

Man, I'm in such a mood now. Nerds, you know! Who needs 'em? Not me, that's for damn sure. I hope Danny chokes on that ugly bitch's pocket protector. He deserves it for abandoning me like this. We've been playing soccer together since the second grade for chrissake!

Whatever, I'm going to vent my frustrations by playing GTA until I can't see straight.

~Jess~

Late Again

My father is always saying that I'll be late to my own funeral. I guess bad habits really are hard to break, but I'm not sure why he's already trying to kill me off.

Not everyone can be the perfect son, especially when we're talking about my father's standards. It's not like I hate the guy or anything, but being the only son of the dean of a boys' only prep school can be pretty rough. That's why I thought I'd show him how responsible I could be by posting a blog every day for twenty days starting June 1st. It being June 2nd you can see that I'm doing wonderfully so far. But that's totally not my fault! I needed new cleats, and then I ran into the guys and we decided to play a quick game. And then it rained and we got stuck in the clubhouse for four hours. It was so late when we got out that we decided to hit up Friendly's for dinner. When I got home I got a lecture about calling if I'm going to be late and decided to wind down by watching some old training videos. ...and I fell asleep.

Well, if I can do it from the 2nd to the 21st that's basically just as good, right? I'll show that old bastard who's never going to amount to anything!

Oh, yeah. For those of you reading this who don't know me, my name is Jesse Walsh. I'm turning 14 this week, and my one joy in life is playing soccer. That's basically it. I'm a pretty simple guy, but I'll save talking about myself for a day when I can't think of anything to say.

Day 2 or Bust!

~Jess~

Journal #2: Jesse Walsh

Character: Jesse Walsh

Profession: high school freshman

Writing Project: "Girls Only"

Synopsis:

As a child, Cassidy James loved soccer and her family, but when a tragic accident steals something she holds dear she has a hard time coping with the loss.

A perpetual nobody lost in the shadow of a brilliant older brother, Alex has spent most of his young life trying to find something he's good at. Now that he has it's threatened by school politics and the only way to fight for what he wants is to shave his legs and put on a skirt!

Only son of the dean of the Canterbury Rhodes Preperatory Academy, Jesse Walsh has lived his life under his father's thumb. The only thing that offers any reprieve is soccer, and now that's threatened by some nobody from a mediocre family! The only way to defend what he thinks is his by right is to dress as a girl, and somehow not get caught!

When the school newspaper enlists Cassidy to investigate a strange rumor, the boys soon find that soccer isn't the only thing they're fighting over!

Where to Read It: On my website! subsequentvisions.com will be hosting 'Girls Only' as a COMPLETELY FREE SERIALIZED NOVEL starting in July!

See you in June!

Better Late than Pregnant

A Few Words from the Creator

Well, Month 1 didn't go as smoothly as I might have liked--I have a horrible habit of forgetting Sundays and Fey got sick in the middle and is forced to continue a few more days, but all in all I think it was a moderate success.

Once again, if anyone wants to join into the project you are more than welcome! Just leave a link this blog--the original twenty days-- in your own, and if you want to be included here as an affiliate, send me a link to your blog!

That's all for now.

See You All in June!

Last Entry for a While

I missed this blog again yesterday due to the reconstruction of Guan-yu, which I finished about twenty minutes ago. David kicked me out of the room insisting I needed to take a nap before I passed out and get something to eat and that he would take my wing for a test run for me to make sure everything is synching properly.

I thought I'd hop on here really quick for one last update. If Guan-yu is ready and able after the test run, I'll begin working on the other wings. David and I will take turns with mine for now to help out where we can--I trust his abilities in battle at least, though I wouldn't let anyone else pilot it, no frigging way! Adrien contacted us yesterday. He and Isaak will be joining us soon. Maybe it's just the nature of those who have fought to continue to fight. We just can't leave well enough alone. In any case, it would be a miracle if we managed to avoid war now, and I think up to now I've been trying very hard to run away from the inevitable.

When I was younger and asked my Grandfather why my parents had to die the way they did, he told me "because once you start down a road, all you can do is continue to walk it." I think I'm finally beginning to understand. Whether I want to be a soldier or not, I cut this path for myself and right now there are no off-ramps in sight. I will do my best to stay true to myself and my sense of what is right. Innocent people will probably be hurt along the way, and for that I am truly sorry. It seems as if the cruelty of war helps us appreciate peace, even so, I hope everyone is able to emerge from this conflict in one piece somehow.

Farewell for now,
~Shou-lyan Rei, Guan-yu Pilot~

Like Riding a Helipad

It's been a while since David or I have put any thought into the T-Wings, but reconstructing the Guan-yu is like riding a helipad--you never really forget how. I started just after dawn and the shell is already mostly complete.

David came down about a half an hour ago insisting I take a break, so I figured I would write my blog while he's making sandwiches. He's a lot better today and insists he would rather be moving around, but I've forbidden him from using the stove. He still seems a bit dazed, so sandwiches and chips it is for lunch. That's fine, it's quick and I want to get right back to work. Things are really starting to escalate and I don't think I'll be able to keep this blog going much longer.

Very soon it will be time to fight. I hope we all somehow manage to survive the experience. Ah, David just asked what I wanted to drink, so that's all I have time for right now.

~Shou~

Land!

I. Barely. Made it. No, I'm not being melodramatic. I'm dead serious. I spent the last ten hours maintenancing that crappy old pod and even with the constant attention the starboard engine ruptured just before I made it to dock. The Star 12 Watch had to come out and get me. As an engineer, having to be hauled into port on a busted transport is mortifying, just for the record.

In any case, I got back to the apartment. ...and I...hugged David. ...as soon as he came to. He was kind of out of it--bad hack is all he would tell me, and I think it'll be a while before I'm able to get any real details, but he's SAFE. And I'm hiding his visor until he gets a little color back in his cheeks. I know nobody threatens that anymore, but David and I are a little old fashioned. He's in bed resting right now, but it's almost time to eat, so I'm going to make some soup.

I'll start rebuilding Guan-yu tomorrow.

Shou

Meeting Jack

I had a virtual conference with that guy from ARLIS today. Jack Danzer. I have no words to explain what my impressions of this guy are. On the one hand, he seems really irresponsible, on the other he seems sort of ...diabolical. Long story short, he's pretty strange. He claims he just likes to 'thumb his nose' at authority. To thumb one's nose--it's a strange saying, isn't it? It's pre-Star, but beyond that I haven't been able to find anything about where it came from. I guess the fact that I looked proves how much time I have to kill on long flights like this.

Anyway, Jack has no idea where David is. He last spoke to him over two weeks ago about hacking into a virtual dive. I hope he hasn't done something stupid and gotten himself killed. I sincerely hope he's still back at the apartment, but it'll be tomorrow before I can check. I think I'll read a bit to kill the time. There's nothing I can do for now anyway.

~Shou~

Travelling Again

Yeah, I'm in another crappy transport in deep space. I just passed through what should be the last of the dead space and went through my messages, all 327 of them, and NONE of them were from David. I'll admit that I'm worried. I expected at least a dozen messages, ten of them pointless nonsense. I know he knows I've been on Star 7, but I was able to connect there, even if the signal wasn't very good. And I know we said we'd be engaging in a bit of radio silence, but this is too long for him. I'm probably being paranoid, but I'm really worried. I may try to contact that ARLIS soldier he mentioned if I can pull it off without alerting attention.

Honestly, I have enough problems to deal with right now without having to worry about that idiot too. He's so reckless. He could have gotten into any number of bad situations. I guess this is what mothers feel like.

In any case, I'm going to try to find that soldier.

~Shou~

Denial

Yes, you read that right--denial--the state I've been in for about three weeks now. I think Torin and Siah may be one in the same. I guess I didn't want to think about the possibility because Torin is, no, WAS, the head of a pacifist nation, but if you think about it that way that's exactly why this theory makes sense. Messiah is a prototype, the development of the T-Wings sprung from this sub-surface lab on Star 7. Ergo, the pilot of Messiah must be from Star 7. They even have the same scar.

But that might not be the only reason I didn't want to think about it. To be completely honest, I had a bit of a crush on Siah, but Torin drives me crazy. I guess that just goes to show that the fantasy doesn't always live up to the reality, huh?

In any case, we've managed to get a shuttle up and running. It should clink and clatter its way back to Star 12 for me. Sebastian, obviously, will be staying here. I think if I make use of David's apartment I'll be able to reconstruct the Guan-yu. If someone doesn't help out soon, that idiot is going to get herself killed, that much I'm certain of.

I'll post again tomorrow--dead space permitting.

~Shou~

I think he may actually be right...

I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but there's a good chance that David is right. I've been trudging my way through these database logs without sleep or food since I last posted and it turns out that something called 'Tyrras' was unearthed from the depths of Pluto's mines. It seems that this 'Tyrras' was the predecessor to the modern t-wing, and Messiah was the first combat capable prototype. Here's the catch, Grandfather's notes imply that Tyrras was a biological entity that was at one point alive. He theorizes that Tyrennium isn't a metalloid at all, but something much closer related to bone, and on top of that he believes this 'Tyrras' also bears a connection to the Ceris Blades ARLIS's demon hunters use. I haven't been able to discern just what that connection is yet, but I imagine that's just exactly what David is looking into.

To think, for once, his conspiracy theory has proven to be right! If you see any flying pigs, do me a favor and take a picture.

In any case, there's still quite a bit of work to do here and there are a good number of more immediate problems, so that's all I have time for right now.

~Shou~

I Can't Believe it!

There are a lot of things that I can't believe, actually, but Sebastian and I finally managed to check out that old silo on the other side of Star 7. There was just something about it, you know? And would you believe there's a password-protect door down there? Thanks to living with a nut like David I managed to break the code (It took me three hours, though I know he'd have had it done in minutes). And do you know what I found? I found a T-Wing hangar down here! Well, okay the proportions are a bit off and there are no t-wings here right now, but that's entirely beside the point. The point is that this backwoods, supposedly paccifist nation shouldn't have something like this at all!

Right now I'm on this old stand-alone system. You know, the kind with external monitor and keyboard functions--yeah, pretty antiquated, but still functioning and functioning very well. I'm trying to access the computer's logs, but it's turning out to be really tedious--way too many steps to go through. It's times like this that I really do miss David, but Sebastian has my visor hooked into the main tower and is trying to help out from there. It still looks like it's going to take a while, so I figured I'd kill some time by writing another blog. What the hell is going on here? It seems as if this country has much bigger secrets than I ever would have imagined.

Getting It

I'm starting to get why Torin didn't want to be the leader of this country--it's a lot of work! (Evidenced by the fact I didn't post yesterday.) Sebastian has no idea what he's doing, and it's not as if I have ever ruled a country before. In short, right now we're pretty clueless. Thank any god that's listening for Savin, because after yesterday's disaster he's written us a schedule of all the things the Taj has to do in a day. No wonder Torin was never around when you were looking for her. Luckily, with two of us trying to cover all the basics--visit the hospice, tend the roses, funerary rights...it's a lot easier to find a few minutes to just sit down.

I'm going to see what's been going on in the news now. There are 5 bulletins I've missed completely.

I Can't Believe Her!

Torin is absolutely unbelievable! I take back anything I ever said about understanding her! Today she suddenly named Kieran--Sebastian, his real name is Sebastian, I have to get used to that--the Taj'Nebala! Ah, basically that means that she passed off her job as Prime Minister on him. Since it's her word, no one can go against it, and then she took the ONLY WORKING SHUTTLE on this damn backwoods Star and DISAPPEARED. Can you tell how completely exasperated I am just from the way I'm typing? I'm dumbfounded. I don't even know what to say, let alone do, but in any case I'm stuck here indefinitely. My RAP autoreturned to Star 12 days ago.

Kieran says he's glad I'm stuck here, because he's going to need a lot of help. I guess that's all I can do for now. I feel so unbearably helpless. Well, he said he wants to check out the silo to see if maybe there's ANYTHING we can use for parts down there, so I guess we're headed off to do that right now.

I'll try to update this soon.

It's Official

David called to me today. The conversation didn't last long--we couldn't risk anyone hacking into the signal, he said--though he was probably just being paranoid as usual. He still thinks ARLIS Command is somehow connected to Star 5. I'm not sure why he's so obsessed with Star 5 and this ARLIS nonsense, but if he's this adamant I'll believe there might be something to it. His paranoia has been good to us in the past, so maybe it will do some good now. In any case, I probably won't hear from him for a while, so I'll have to rely on my own resources for now.

Messiah attacked again. Well, more like Star 5 attacked...and Messiah annihilated them. Either way, the end result is the same--the GFA alliance has been put off indefinitely, Star 5 has opened hostilities. I'm going to talk to Torin--Minister Zhi--about a shuttle off of Star 7 tonight. I need to get back to civilization and some better resources. If I can rebuild the basic structure of my Guan-yu, I'll be able to help Messiah in this fight, but I won't be able to do that with the resources available here.

Impending Battlefield

A devil descended today. Okay, I'm probably being a bit overly melodramatic--David tells me I have that habit, but today a t-wing I never thought I'd see again appeared on the V-Web and decimated Star 5's blocks on Star 7's trade routes in one heavy blow. No doubt Star 5 will blame Star 7. I've already decided to protect these people, so if they're attacked, I've prepared myself as best I can--I'll fight.

But that's actually not what's bothering me most. The pilot of Messiah died in the last war, or so we thought. It seems that was greatly exaggerated. But what connection does Siah have to Star 7? And why show up now. War will be hard to prevent if the situation is like this. I've exausted all of my opportunities to avert it, so I'll have to rely on David now, but I'm afraid that might be a much larger can of worms.

He Actually Showed his Face

I guess it's been a few days since I've written here. Sorry for that, but the connection has been a disaster and every time I tried it died on me halfway through. Today it seems fairly stable, so I'll say a little something.

Kieran showed up yesterday. Yes, he actually showed his face! I can hardly believe it, but I was glad to have the chance to demand an answer for what he was thinking. It turns out he came to apologize. He was fooled into believing the Prime Minister's shuttle was actually carrying some terrorists to bomb the GFA, so I guess I can forgive him. After all, Torin did. That girl forgave him for killing her father without so much as batting an eye. She drives me crazy, but I think she actually might be pretty strong. And the Tum'sah need a strong leader now more than they need anything else.

Kieran was very upset that she didn't react strongly enough. I guess he wanted her to arrest him, or yell at him, or at the very least slap him as hard as that petite figure of hers will allow, but when he demanded to know what she was thinking she said, "I have so few blood relatives left, I can't afford to hold grudges." I think I'm starting to understand her a little better now. It's the cruel fate of those in the public eye that they have to be strong enough not only to overcome their own suffering, but to bear the suffering of those around them with courage and grace. I think it must be something like that.

If that's the case, I think even Torin and I can somehow learn to get along.

~Shou~

Pity

It's almost beyond my ability to understand. Since I arrived here on Star 7, everyone has been giving me these looks that I haven't quite been able to place, but when I met Torin's Uncle Savin today and she explained to him who I was and that I was a 'survivor of the Star 4 catastrophe' he put his hand on my shoulder and told me he was sorry for my loss. The expression was exactly the same, and that's when I realized the people of this broken country have been looking at me with pity. Their leader is dead, they're people are dying, and they don't know how long their food supplies will last, and these people feel bad for me.

I told Torin it made no sense to feel that way. The ones who really needed pity were the citizens of this Star, but she just gave me that sad, cryptic smile of hers that I'm really growing to hate and said, "our home may be ravaged, Shou-lyan, but at least we still have one."

I never thought of it that way. It's true that my homestar was destroyed in the last wars, and I was devastated. I lost my Grandfather, my cousin, my niece, my entire nation in one heavy-handed blow. It's not that I don't still hurt a little when I have time to think about it, but I have my friends and--for all his idiocy--David pulled me through the hard times. My home is in that apartment on Star 12 now. I don't feel particularly estranged anymore.

But these people feel pity for someone like me, who has otherwise lived a pretty easy life, not at all like working in the mines of Pluto until my fingers are so raw they bleed, not at all like suffering through miscarriage after miscarriage in hopes that one will eventually take. I'm not the one who needs pity.

It really threw me, but I think I understand the Tum'Sah a little better now. Family isn't just a tight knit set of people bound by blood for them, it's their nation, their entire country. They're very proud of their heritage and feel they can overcome all odds as long as they stand together. That must be why no one questions Torin's methods at all, even if a lineage-based monarchy system is absolutely arcane. For better or worse, they're in this together. It's such a simple way to think and to live. I think I've come to envy them a little for that simplicity.

~Shou~

Trying to Understand

Last night I dreamed a memory. I'm the type of person who rarely remembers my dreams, but I awoke feeling uneasy. My Grandfather was a brilliant engineer. Because of this, he had many opportunities to meet important politicians during his work on the Tyrras Project, and last night, I dreamed about the day Minister Zhi first came to Star 4. I was hardly five years old and even in dream don't recall much, but I remember that man smiling kindly at me and telling me, "I have a daughter about your age. If you ever meet her, I hope you'll be able to understand one another."

I don't understand Torin Zhi at all. She has turned down Star 5's treatise. Isalnye says this country has about enough food and water to last two more months if everyone starts conserving now. Sometimes trade carriers malfunction, so I guess they're used to finding ways to make do, but I still don't understand how anyone can live this way.

Two months? What is she planning to do in that time? Does she think two months is long enough to change the world? That's ridiculous! When I confronted her about it she just smiled at me and said, "my people may not have much, but we still have our pride." I told her "you can't eat pride", but I don't think my words have gotten through to her at all.

I spoke to David, but I think he may be on a wild goose chase. He said he met with someone from ARLIS today, but I didn't get much more than that before the connection died on me again. What do demon hunters have to do with the assassination of politicians? Either David's conspiracy theories are getting really out of hand, or this is a problem much bigger than just one power-hungry Star. I'm so cut off from anything. From Star 7, everything outside of Pluto seems too far away. I never realized space could be so vast.

~Shou~

The World is Doomed

I've got to give David credit. Piggybacking government satellites isn't as easy as he makes it look! But then, I guess there's a reason he's a hacker and I'm most certainly not. In any case, I'm connected for the moment, though I'm not sure how long the signal is going to last.

I docked at Star 7 without further incident, unless you count the fact that their southern dock is a complete disaster and I had to orbit halfway around the Star to land an incident. I'm quickly learning it's really just the norm for this place. I didn't get to meet with the new Minister Zhi for a few hours, but one of the office staff gave me some watered-down tea and a piece of toast with jam. He apologized that it was all he was able to get me on short notice, but I don't think he was eating any better than I was.

Anyway, the trade routes here have been all but completely cut off, and the miners are very ill thanks to the conditions of the mines. I never realized things were so bad here. Every building I see is in a number of states of disrepair, and many of the buildings got so bad that it seems as if a good number of the citizens are living in tents. At the very least, the climate is agreeable--thought I'm not sure that's a good thing, seeing as Miss Zhi claims the weather gauge busted and is stuck on 67 degrees. I offered to take a look at it, but she rather bluntly told me not to bother because they didn't have the supplies right now to spare on fixing things that 'aren't causing any real harm'.

I dislike her, for the record. She's stubborn and reckless, but I think what this country needs right now might be a stubborn, reckless person like this to force history into motion. Even if she's disagreeable, I've decided to stay for a while and do whatever I can to help. I hope it doesn't come down to another war, but if the situation is this bad, even I am willing to return the battlefield once again.

Star 5 has blocked off the trade routes to this country. It's obvious that they want to control Pluto's Tyrrennium mines, and this country by connection to them. The supposed alliance they've proposed is insulting and I don't want to believe this country will accept it, but when food and water supplies aren't coming in, they may have no choice.

I wonder what that girl is planning to do about this.

Ah, that's David calling, I'd better go for now.

~Shou~

I Can't Take Much More of This

I read a news story once about a man who spent two weeks aboard a RAP. When he got off he went on a homicidal rampage in the docking terminal. It took four officers to subdue him and seven people died. He didn't have so much as a stunning tazer on him. At the time, I thought it was the most ridiculous thing I'd ever heard, but now I get it. Completely.

After the first twelve moons this damn Volvo started to smoke from the rear cooling belt. I had to climb down into the lower hatch and it was so cramped that it took me five hours to replace a refrigeration coil! For those of you who are mechanically impaired, that's a job that should take twenty minutes at most for someone who knows what they're doing, and if it hasn't been established yet, I'm a mechanical engineer, so I know what I'm doing.

I thought I would rant about it for a few paragraphs in this blog after a quick shower, but wouldn't you know it, just when I sat down to begin I hit my first dead zone. I don't think of myself as someone who's overly dependant on technology. I mean, I don't shop for EVERYTHING online, and David and I have been known to go hours on end without picking up our visors once. I guess a lot of people these days probably think that's old fashioned, and I guess it is, but my point is that I never really thought a dead zone would affect me that much. I have plenty of things I can do offline--my e-novel collection, for example, is really impressive, battery life permitting, but right when I really needed to do something more hands on to take my mind off of this piece of crap transport, I'm offline, and gods it really does suck.

In any case, I should arrive in Star 7's airspace in about nine more hours. Too bad I'm still on Venus Belt Time--I would love to sleep through this, but I'm not even a little tired. Maybe I'll call David and see if he has any new information on the origins of that Shuttle that shot Minister Zhi's transport pod down. Once I get him that should kill an hour or two--dead zones permitting.

I hear there are some roaming satellites in Star 7 space, so I should be able to hack into one of them for a connection long enough to post. I know most likely no one is reading this, but the act of writing down my thoughts like this is soothing somehow. It's become a way for me to wind down. Does that make sense? I'm sure I'm not the only person who thinks this way.

~Shou~

Would it be entirely too strange of me to say that knowing I won't see David's stupid grin and dirty laundry for a while makes me feel kind of lonely? Sure, I know we're living in the 31st century and I'll probably be in contact with his virtual every other day (knowing him), but it's just not the same thing as having your closest friend, well, close by. And for the record, the only reason I'm admitting to this at all is that David says my blog is wordy and boring, so I know he isn't reading this. I guess I've just gotten used to having that idiot around--gods help me.

But I should backtrack and explain a little. Unless you've been living under a rock for the past 24 hours, you know that Star 7's Prime Minister Zhi was assassinated late yesterday. My grandfather was close friends with the man while he was alive, so even if they're both gone now, that doesn't mean I shouldn't go pay my respects. Besides, this could turn into a major incident, so I want to see what the new leader of that country is planning to do.

The only RAP I was able to get on such short notice is a twenty-year-old Volvo MX12. The combuster misfires every thirty minutes and the console looks like someone methodically shoved day-old coleslaw between all of the keys. I just need to survive another day of this piece of crap though, so I've put it on auto and resigned myself to not touching the keys unless aboslutely imperative. I'm not in a dead zone now, so my visor is fine for blogging right now.

In any case, I was absolutely right; Kieran has done something incredibly stupid. Again. I only hope this trip to Star 7 helps me figure out why.

Kieran called today. I suppose I should say it was nice to hear from an old friend, but every time Kieran calls, all hell is about to break loose. Whether he means to or not--and it's really hard to tell at times just what he's thinking--he's like a messenger of impending disaster.

I hate to think this way, but I can't help but feel that another war may be on the horizon. I'm so very tired of all this fighting. I mean, my homestar was decimated, you'd think I'd be more interested in justice than anyone, but one war was more than enough. Politicians really are ruthless.

As much as I complain about my roommate, and rightfully so, part of me just wants things to stay this way forever. Is it wrong to think like that? I know there's some secret he's been hiding behind that idiotic smile, but it was never my place to dig too deep and I really don't think I wan to know the details anyway. I mean, it's been three years since the last time we had to fight. And I've got to say I already feel way older than I should.

It's not that I don't understand. Star 7 wants their freedom, and they deserve to have it, but why is it that war is always the only way?

Oh, another news bulletin just came in. I'd better check it out, so I guess that's all for now.

I'm Going to Kill that Idiot

April 1, XXXX

David, apparently, wants to die. I woke up this morning to the sound of some antiquated song blaring into my eardrums that I am not even certain had any actual human speech involved--something about 'mmm bopping'. I'm not entirely sure what that is, or why it was ever popular, because it sounds entirely too painful to be bothered with. And if the assault to my eardrums was somehow not enough to satisfy his sadistic sense of humor, I woke up staring at an iguana. An iguana--with it's beady little eyes, skeletal fingers, and that disturbing flap of skin under the chin that inflates and deflates as it stares at you, unblinking. I loathe all manner of lizards, but the iguana has to be the worst and he knows how I feel about them.

I don't see why he has such a fascination with arcane holidays in the first place, and I certainly don't approve of him dragging me into them. After I kicked him out of the apartment with the scaly menace that is sure to haunt my dreams for days, on orders that he promptly return it to whatever gods-forsaken Star he got it from, I thought I'd calm down with a nice hot shower only to find he replaced my shampoo with chocolate pudding. When I found his shampoo bottle had been filled with the remains of the pasta in red clam sauce he made the night before, I think I may have snapped. I got online and found the most annoying ancient machine I could find and promptly made ten of them. They are these furry little robots that talk in baby voices at each other, which you must remove the power source from to shut them up. I didn't have any artificial fur in blinding colors to complete them with, so I spray painted them with last Halloween's hair dye.

It backfired. He thinks these 'furbee' creatures are adorable and now they're all over the place and have been chattering on and on for ten hours straight. The only person I've ended up irritating beyond reprieve, apparently, is myself. Why did I agree to let this moron move in again?

Oh, yeah, I felt sorry for him. After the war, he had nowhere to go, or so he claimed. If those things are still talking tomorrow morning, he can live on the damn street, that's all I've got to say.

~Shou~

Journal #1: Shou-lyan Rei (April 1-April 20)

Character: Shou-lyan Rei, "Shou" for short

Profession: former soldier, a young Engineer specializing in Robotics

Writing Project: 'Land of Stars'.

In the distant future, mankind has moved from the Earth onto high-tech Celestial Colonies known as 'Stars'. Wars are fought on a virtual frontier via armored mechs, but the line between Virtual Reality and the Real World have begun to blur. The past thirty years have been marred by war and deep rifts between Stars that have only begun to heal, and after three years of uneasy peace, the assassination of the Prime Minister of the backwoods Star 7 outside of Pluto threatens a new war.

Along with his roommate David Klay and a small group of other virtual pilots from the earlier wars, Shou endeavors to prevent the world from falling once again into the chaos of a bloodied battlefield, but there are many very real obstacles in their way.


See You in April!

Why 20 Days?

I thought a good way to start this blog would be with a bit about myself and an explanation of the project I'm endeavoring on. To do this, I think the most important question in everyone's mind is probably 'Why 20?'

Well, for starters, fourteen days was already taken. So was ten. Thirty is too many, especially since February only has 28. I don't think it's possible to really get to know someone in a week, so to really get into a character I wanted a span of time somewhere between fourteen and twenty-five days. After that it was just a matter of narrowing it all down until I had a nice, happy, round number.

So, long story short, we ended up with the nicely rounded 20.

'Twenty Days' will not necessarily run every month--sometimes large projects will get in the way or I'll need a break and skip a month. But the months that it does run in--at least bi-monthly--it will run from the 1st through the 20th.

Towards the end of the month preceeding a new project, I will write a brief blurb about the character who will be featured over the next 20 days.

So there you have it, that's the basic premise that 20 days runs on. If anyone out there plans to endeavor on the same project with me, I would love to hear about you and the misadventures of your overactive imagination! And if you feel like starting your own companion blog (something like 'twenty-days-billybob.blogspot.com' heh) I'd be glad to do a link exchange. Just let me know!

As far as myself, as things stand when I write this I jokingly call myself a Professional Hobbyist, a jack of all trades, a creative misanthrope, but I pay my bills as a bookkeeper. Kind of a far cry from indulging my permanently overactive imagination, but it is what it is. I leave it at that, since really I'm not all that important in the grand scheme of this project, right? Of course I'm right.

Hope you enjoy the literary insanity certain to ensue!